I live to be validated. i do. So perhaps if i accept that, then i can start to change it. I am excited about my new job. I am excited about moving on.
I've torn down a lot of bridges behind me and I don't feel great about that. I don't do it intentionally. Perhaps compartmentalizing is just really intense in that one part of my life.
In the mean time, screw it. It's beautiful outside and there have been a few small perfect moments this week. I'll take it. I'm still moving forward, crashing and banging into things, hurting people. I am not a new case study. There are many like me. i have to remember that. I DON'T WANT TO BE HAPPIEST WHEN I'M MISERABLE AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE TERMINALLY SPECIAL.
That's the news from Lake Wobegon.
New goals:
-be less shallow and self-involved
-give everyone else a chance to make up their minds about what to do with me, don't write their narratives for them
- finish book
-eat a little less cheese
-katie
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